I am what some might call a "hobby collector." I fill my calendar with activities ranging from ballet class to improv class to watercolor class. In the past, I have played polo, performed as a member of the Austin Handbell Ensemble (and served as president), and curled (you know - shuffleboard on ice). It's not that I'm flaky, I just really like trying new things. I love activity. This past Monday night, I took ballet class. Tonight, I had a watercolor class. Now, don't misinterpret my motives taking these classes. I do not dream of performing as a prima ballerina. I do not expect to ever sell a piece of art. Some say that ballet is the never-ending pursuit of perfection. Yeah, I'm not expecting to ever be perfect. I'm never expecting to even be what some may consider "good."
So why do it? Simply, because my brain needs a break. My brain gets really full. Now, I love my day job. And I love my theatre activities. But so often, there is an unending stream of thoughts, complete and partial, rolling around in my brain. And the only way I've found to stop it is to do some activity that forces me to concentrate fully. Ballet does that. Painting does that. I've found that sewing can occasionally do that. For an hour or two, I get to forget about the defect I've been debugging at work. I get to ignore the mental list of theatre notes that I have to send out. I get to just concentrate on the one color that I am painting or the specific placement of my heel. When I'm done, all those other items will still be there, but my mind will be ready to process them.
Running, on the other hand, for me, is the opposite. I feel trapped with my thoughts. No distractions from whatever it is that is most loudly shouting in my brain. Part of me worries that my trip this summer will be a magnification of this. I will be by myself for most of 4 months. Yes, I am visiting many friends along the way. I anticipate seeing many people and sharing many experiences. But at the end of each destination, I am back in the car on my own. With my thoughts. With me. Good thing I like me. But I still hate running.
